ONCE UPON TIME A HEALER, A SPIRITUAL FIGURE OF SORTS , DRESSED AS A MEDICINE MAN CAME INTO A MID WESTERN TOWN. A DUBIOUS DOCTOR WITH QUESTIONABLE CREDENTIALS. HE THOUGHT OF HIMSELF AS A TRAVELING MESSIAH, SOMETHING AKIN TO A FALSE GOD BUT IN THE FLESH.  HIS OUTFIT CONSISTED OF THE UBIQUITOUS BLACK BOWLER HAT WITH MATCHING BLACK SUIT. THE WHITE SHIRT HAD RUFFLES DOWN THE FRONT. A PLEASANT SORT OF FELLOW, SORT OF LIKE A EVANGELICAL PREACHER. HE HAD AN AIR ABOUT HIM, THREW OFF AN AURA OF ELECTRICITY. SOMETHING NOT SEEN IN THESE PARTS. A FRESH FACE, ONE WHO HAD THE APPEARANCE OF TRUST, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE KNEW HIM, HE HAD THE LOOK. HE SAT ON THE WOODEN SEAT, HIGH ABOVE THE WOODEN WHEELS OF A COVERED WAGON PULLED BY A TWO MYSTICAL LOOKING HORSES. 
 

THE CANVAS COVERING THE WAGON HAD A PICTURE OF A MEDICINE BOTTLE,  A SLOGAN ON THE BOTTLE READ "OBAMA'S FAMOUS ELIXIR" IN BIG BLUE LETTERS ON A WHITE BACKGROUND WITH RED BORDER, IT WAS THERE FOR ALL TO SEE., OTHER PRONOUNCEMENTS WRITTEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COVERED WAGON ATTESTING TO THE SUPER QUALITIES OF OBAMA'S  HEALING ELIXIR "  GOOD FOR THE SOUL, HEALS WOUNDS, SOOTHS ACHES AND PAINS, BRINGS STRANGERS TOGETHER, ELIMINATES WARTS, EASY ON THE STOMACH, CLEANS THE DIGESTIVE TRACT, ELIMINATES POVERTY, SPREADS THE WEALTH, PUTS PEOPLE TO WORK AND CURES ANYTHING THAT AILS YOU."  AN EGALITARIAN MESSAGE FOR ALL TO SEE..

PRECEDING HIM THE DAY BEFORE WAS ANOTHER GENTLEMEN OF UNKNOWN BREEDING , A FRONT MAN.  THIS OUTSIDER HAD PLENTY OF CHARISMA TOO; ONE WHO COULD EASILY  SWAY A CROWD.  A NICE LOOKING FELLOW, TALL AT THAT, WITH A EFFERVESCENT SIMILE.  THE FRONT MAN WAS A SHILL. HIS JOB WAS TO BEAR WITNESS TO EVERYTHING THE TRAVELING SALESMAN SAID, TO CONFIRM IN  REAL LIFE OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BUY THE MEDICINE MAN'S MESSAGE.  IN THE BACK OF THE COVERED WAGON WERE WOODEN BOXES FILLED WITH THE FAMOUS ELIXIR, THE TOPS WERE CORKED AND PAPER LABELS WERE AFFIXED TO THE FRONT. THOSE LABELS WERE PRINTED WITH THE NAME, RIGHT THERE IN BIG BLUE LETTERS, "OBAMA'S FAMOUS ELIXIR". BELOW THE NAME WERE THE TESTIMONIAL CATCH PHRASES ON WHAT THE ELIXIR CURES. HOWEVER THE INGREDIENTS WERE MISSING. TOP SECRET YOU KNOW.

THE MEDICINE MAN PULLED HIS TEAM UP TO A HITCHING POST IN THE CENTER OF TOWN, JUMPED FROM HIS SEAT AND PLANTED HIS TWO FEET FIRMLY ON THE GROUND. MANY OF THE TOWN'S PEOPLE STARED AT THE MESSAGE ON THE CANVAS COVERING THE WAGON. THE SPIRITUAL HEALER STARTED TO DRAW A CROWD. HE SPOKE ONLY A FEW SHORT WORDS, "WE WILL BE SELLING OUR ELIXIR TOMORROW AT HIGH NOON". 


ON THE NEXT DAY, A LONG LONG TIME AGO, THE TOWNSPEOPLE GATHERED.  THE MESSIAH SPOKE WITH ELOQUENCE. THE CROWD WAS HYPNOTIZED.  HIS FORCEFUL VOICE WAS OVERWHELMING, SPEAKING OF THE HEALING PROPERTIES OF HIS ELIXIR. A HERBAL LIQUID IN A BOTTLE. A REMEDY FOR EVERY AFFLICTION WAS THE SERMON.  ONE AFTER ANOTHER THEY CAME. THEY COULDN'T BUY THESE BOTTLES FAST ENOUGH. THEN SOME CHARACTER FROM THE CROWD WOULD STEP FORWARD. THIS INDIVIDUAL, A STRANGER IN TOWN, WOULD GIVE TESTIMONY OF THE ELIXIR'S HEALING PROPERTIES. ONE MAN SAID HE WAS POOR, BUT DRANK THE ELIXIR, ALL 8 OUNCES OF IT AND HAD A DREAM THAT HE WAS NOW IN SPIRITUAL ELDORADO. A LADY CAME FORWARD, SHE WAS THERE TO CONFIRM THAT HER PREVIOUS MALADY DISAPPEARED. IT WAS ONE OF DESPAIR, DEPRESSION AND MELANCHOLY. ALL DUE TO THE VERY FACT THAT THE FATHERS OF HER FOUR CHILDREN LEFT THEM AT AN EARLY AGE. SHE TOILED DAY AFTER DAY TO FEED HER KIDS. HER SUBSISTENCE WAS THAT OF A BEGGAR. A LOT IN LIFE NOT OF HER CHOOSING.  BUT NO MORE, AFTER DOWNING A HALF PINT OF THE MAGIC ELIXIR, SHE VISIONED THE PONY EXPRESS ARRIVING WITH A POUCH FILLED WITH GOLD.  IMMEDIATELY SHE WAS ABLE TO HOLD HER HEAD HIGH, THE THOUGHT OF SECURING A NICE HOME WITH PLENTY OF  FOOD FOR HER YOUNGINS APPEARED.  A COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION.  THE SHILL WAS WORKING HIS MAGIC POTION TOO. HE INTERMINGLED WITH THE CROWD, TOLD STORIES OF THE MAGIC IN THE BOTTLE. HE PREACHED TO THEM THE WONDERS OF THE OBAMA ELIXIR. SALES WERE BRISK, AND SEVERAL HOURS LATER IT WAS ANNOUNCED "COMPLETELY SOLD OUT".  THE TOWNS PEOPLE WERE AMAZED.

BY NOW THE MESSIAH WAS IN NEED OF REST, IT WAS A LONG AND TIRING DAY, THE SUN WAS STARTING TO SET, THE HORSES WERE RESTED AND IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.  THE MEDICINE MAN HOPPED ON TO THE COVERED WAGON, WITH THAT OLD WOODEN SEAT, THE KIND YOU FIND ON A BUCKBOARD, SPRINGS UNDERNEATH IT GAVE HIM A QUICK BOUNCE AND HE WAS ON HIS WAY. THE NEXT TOWN BECKONED. THE SHILL WAS ON HIS WAY TOO, TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE OF THE COMING MIRACLES. ONCE THOUGHT IMPOSSIBLE BUT NOW TRUE. THE ELIXIR BROUGHT HOPE FOR A NEW WAY FORWARD, A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.  AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS OF CROSSING THE LAND, THE MAN FROM THAT FAR OFF PLACE CALLED "DREAMS" FOUND OUT THAT PEOPLE NO LONGER WERE BUYING HIS ELIXIR. MOST IF NOT ALL OF THE PREVIOUS PATRONS WANTED THEIR MONEY BACK. TO THEM, SWALLOWING THAT GREENISH LOOKING FLUID, MADE THEM SICK. THEY WERE LIVING A BAD DREAM. WORD SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE LAND.
 
FINALLY, PEOPLE OF ALL CREEDS REALIZED THAT THEY WERE DUPED BY THE MEDICINE MAN. THEY WERE OUTRAGED BY HIS SCAM. HE WAS A FLIM FLAM MAN. WE MUST HOLD HIM RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DEEDS THEY SHOUTED. HE WAS BROUGHT TO TRIAL. JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED WAS A CRY FROM THE CROWD. WITNESSES CAME FORTH PRONOUNCING THE CLAIMS OF THE OBAMA ELIXIR TO BE FALSE. ONE MAN DEFINED THE MAGIC POTION AS EQUIVALENT TO DRINKING POISON.  A DRUGGIST, WHO ANALYZED THE CONTENTS OF THE BOTTLE TESTIFIED.  HIS CONCLUSION, "THE BOTTLE WAS FILLED MOSTLY WITH HOT AIR IMMERSED IN NOTHING BUT SWAMP WATER."  ANOTHER SHOUTED OUT THAT IT WAS SNAKE OIL. THE TRIAL HELD IN THE MID WESTERN TOWN OF DREAMS, IN THE STATE OF IOWA.  WHY THERE? THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN. WHERE THE MEDICINE MAN STARTED HIS CRUSADE.   AFTER DELIBERATING FOR TEN MINUTES THE JURY FOUND THE MESSIAH GUILTY OF FRAUD, DECEPTION, LYING AND MOST OF ALL MISLABELING THE BOTTLES OF HIS ELIXIR. "HE WAS SELLING FALSE HOPE", SAID THE JURY FOREMAN. GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS.  THE CROWD WANTED JUSTICE AND IT WAS GIVEN.   POOF, THE "HEALER" WAS GONE FOR GOOD.