Tea Party Views

“IN GOD WE TRUST”

“I bring reason to your ears, and, in language as plain as ABC, hold up truth to your eyes.” Thomas Paine, December 23, 1776

 For God and Country

Our  two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on  what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We  can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our  own way.

Here  is  our separation agreement:   

Our  two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each  taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am  sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it  should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can  effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct  and disparate tastes.

We  don’t like re-distributive taxes so you can keep  them.

You  are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since  you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA  and the military.

We’ll  take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can  go with wind, solar and bio diesel.

You  can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however,  responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all  three of them.

We’ll  keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,  Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

You  can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,  homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal  aliens.

We’ll  keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and  rednecks.

We’ll  keep Bill O’Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC, Sharpton and Hollywood  .

You  can make nice with Iran and Palestine  and we’ll retain the  right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

You  can have the peaceniks and war protesters.
When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help  provide them security.

We’ll  keep our Judeo-Christian values.

You  are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness  and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no  longer be paying the bill.

We’ll  keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can  take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

You  can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing  doctors.

We’ll  keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National  Anthem.”

I’m  sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the  World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

We’ll  practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle  up poverty your best shot.

Since  it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our  flag.

Would  you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded  liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit  delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you might think  about which one of us will need whose help in 15  years.

Sincerely,
John  J. Wall
Law  Student and an American
P.S.  Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen,  Barbara Streisand, ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.  And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our  country.

Forward  This Every Time You Get It ! Let’s Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It  Will Start Sinking In!!